Self protection lessons from a serial killer.

In the book The Serial Killer Whisperer there are several self defense principles we can pull from and in some cases, from the killers own words.

1. Don't believe what the bad guy tells you.

In many, many cases of kidnapping and killing, the bad guy will tell the victim they won't harm them or they'll let them go if they do what the killer says.

"Of course, I kept telling her constantly that if she did everything I asked and didn’t cause any problems, I’d let her go later. She knew I was going to rape her. But she thought that was all…All of them but one believed me”( pg 234)- serial killer David Gore.

Kidnappers and killers will tell their victims anything to gain compliance. One may wonder why would the victim listen to them especially after they’ve already been assaulted?  It has to do with the mental state of the victim. Many, many victims simply cannot wrap their mind around the idea that something really evil is happening to them, right now and they desperately grasp at some relief, some escape, some offer of comfort or hope even if that comes from the attacker.

But this is not limited to just serial killers. Con men and scam artists and even cheating partners will display this dynamic.  Let’s say a person buys a used car from someone who has a shady reputation and right away the car develops problems. You take it back repeatedly to be checked out and are told “ It’s nothing to worry about.” and you believe him. Why? Because you are desperate to believe that the car you just bought is not a lemon and your judgment about cars and human behavior is still intact.  And what about a wayward lover who has had multiple affairs and keeps coming back and saying “ It won’t happen again”. Why would you believe the bad guy? Because the jilted lover is desperate to believe a number of things and cannot wrap their mind around the alternative.

2.  Attackers will often give you clues to a good course of action by telling you what they don’t want you to do. They’ll say – Don’t run, don’t yell, don’t resist, don’t move. Why would they tell you these things? Because if you did those things it may interfere with what they are trying to do.  David Gore had taken one of his victims into a house’s attic while police were surrounding the building and told her to be quiet. Luckily the police knew he was there and did a thorough search of the house but what would have happened if they didn’t?  Gore had already killed her best friend and would have most assuredly killed her.  Why did Gore tell her to be quiet? Because he was at a very vulnerable point. I read one story of a killer who had kidnapped a girl, taken her to a remote location and instead of telling her to be quiet encouraged her to yell and scream ( it added to his excitement) because it wasn’t a vulnerability for him.

As a side note some experts advise doing exactly the opposite of what they tell you to do. If they say don’t yell, then yell. Or don’t run, then run. I don’t think this is good advice to think in terms of “always do” or “never do” as situations may be different and change rapidly. David Gore had his captive in the attic with a knife to her throat when he told her to be quiet. If she had screamed, struggled or made a noise, he more than likely would have tried to kill her quietly.  This is a judgment call based on the situation and ones intuition.

3. Listen to you gut feeling. Most self-defense instructors will make listening to your intuition a pillar of any self-defense teaching. In the book, the mother of a victim gets a strange phone call about her daughter’s broken down car. “She was about to say something to her husband about the odd telephone call when Kaye’s two daughters burst inside just ahead of a thundershower. Bonne pushed her fears aside and began chatting with them”(pg 236)