Review of Women Who Love Men Who Kill - Part 1

Women Who Love Men Who Kill
By Sheila Isenberg

Part 1

For a number of years I’ve often wondered what is wrong with these women who marry or pursue murderers and serial killers. Most serial killers and a high number of murderers have women who are groupies, fans and pursuers who become enamored of them. In a number of cases these women correspond with, meet with and fall in love with, the murderer. This book explores those women, the murderer and the relationship.
Most scenarios played out the same way. A women begins to correspond with an inmate either through a personal ad ( Correspond with a Lonely Inmate! ) or through a friend. They end up meeting and calling and eventually the women finds her self in love. And what love it is: passionate, strong, romantic, powerful, all consuming. Often times these women will move across the country to be next to the man they love, divorce current husbands, dissolve long term relationships, alienate children and relatives and give up careers.
The author makes a valiant attempt at interviewing and researching these women without getting overly technical or psychological. This makes the book less scientific but much more readable. The women interviewed wanted to tell their side of the story, why they fell in love, why they think so and so is a great person, what their hopes and aspirations are for the relationship are.
Some observed points from the book:
  1. The women believe what the convict is telling them and has told them. When the murderer says “evidence was suppressed in the trial that would set me free” the woman believes him. The women don’t try very hard to find the truth about the information that is given to them.
  2. The women are in denial. When they have the truth confirmed to them, they deny it and say things like “ I don’t believe it.” or “ He’d never do anything like that”.
  3. They minimize the murder. They believe in mitigating circumstances where the murder did happen but it was because of drugs, drinking, self-defense, accidental discharge or justified because of years of abuse.
  4. In many cases the women just don’t examine the issue too closely. They separate the person they are in love with the murderer of conviction.
  5. They believe the person is changed or it was a single aberration. Although they might have murdered at one time, they believe the person is different now or the good part has finally come through.
  6. In the initial years of the romance they believe they murderer will be out “shortly”. In the authors research this only has happened once.

Some of the quotes from women describing their loves:
“A beautiful person inside and out”
“ Like a flower that’s a bud  and you can see it opening before your eyes”;  “
 “I just love his voice; it’s the sexist voice ever”
 “Intelligent, politically, philosophically…He’s very liberal. He’s very positive; he’s one of those power-of-positive thinking people” 
“ He does know more then most of the people around him.”
“He’s just not that sort of person to do that”
“He called me his princess”

And most disturbing from Sue Terry: “ I thought maybe he is in prison because someone had made a mistake. I thought he might be innocent.”; “ He’s got real soft, kind blue eyes. He relaxed me, the way he talked. I can’t explain it. It was like being in another world.” ; “ I never had anyone treat me as nice as he treated me.” ; “ How could people do this to John? He was the nicest, kindest, sweetest, person in the world…It wouldn’t be the John I know to do something like that.” So, which John is she talking about? John Wayne Gacy, one of the most notorious and prolific serial killers in history.
      What’s even worse, Sue Terry brings her two children in to see Gacy! At one point in the visit her son says he had heard of another killer who killed more then Gacy did. Gacy responded angrily with “ No, he didn’t. I killed more t hen he did!”
Sue Terry broke off the relationship shortly after that, no longer able to deny the murders. However, “ Today, only Sue’s 16-year old daughter believes Gacy to be innocent. ‘He still writes to my little girl… She just kind of feels sorry for him’.”

In part 2 – what drives the women and what the relationship experts say.

             

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